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Dictionary of Alice-ese

acoustic windows- windows that roll down.
april- alice's current oboe.
asshole- someone that pisses alice off. commonly asserted to someone that drives badly, has opinions and/or morals that she doesn't agree with, and/or is a fat fucking redneck that sits on the bus and spits tobacco all over the back seats.
beast- awesome. see "mofo".
beeyatch- similar to "bitch", but used more commonly and publicly. usually playful.
bummin' me out- making me mad/sad.
buttface- someone that does something to make alice pout.
darn skippy- an expression similar to "damn straight". if you don't know what that means then go die.
danny- alice's alto saxophone, so named because he is a Vito brand instrument. "Danny The Vito." get it? it's funny!
desert storm- trey.
douche- someone that sucks, or has made alice unhappy. also sometimes used to refer to alice's ex, who was a republican.
ds- see "desert storm".
enrique- alice's clarinet.
front-end assistant- a bag boy at food lion.
gnarly- gross; unpleasant smelling.
go die- leave me alone- basically, the equivalent of 'go pick up sticks' or whatever you kids are saying these days.
grilled cheese- alice's nickname from laura.
hep to the jive- cool.
hey babe, take a walk on the wild side!- something alice sometimes says when referring to someone who would look good in drag. a reference to lou reed.
hey boy, take a walk on the wild side!- a blantant reference, often shouted, to the film 'hedwig and the angry inch', one of alice's favorites. she uses this quote a lot, usually for no reason.
ho- 1. a friend; 2. a slut.
lame- almost, or more, sucky than sucky.
loser- usually someone cool.
mac daddy- laura; alice's best friend.
mofo- n. someone that sucks adj. the opposite of "beast". sometimes used by itself as an expression of discontent.
mofoes- a group of people that suck. often used playfully.
my hoes- my friends.
oboner- an oboe, or someone that plays the oboe.
poopface- someone that either sucks or makes alice pout.
retard- someone that sucks. usually used as an insult behind someone's back.
rockin'- cool; good.
saxomaphoner- a saxophone or someone that plays the saxophone.
sexual- something cool and/or skanky (i.e. "pretty sexual shoes you're wearing today, lena.); something said that could be mistaken for something, well, sexual. (i.e."Your boner is leaking onto the floor? That's pretty sexual, Will.")
slop-Usually refers to barbecue.
smexadorable- cute. sexy. adorable.
spiff- cute. awesome.
stormy- see "ds" and "desert storm". pretty much only alice is allowed to use this one.
suck- lame. (i.e. "today was pretty suck, especially when that cat peed on me.")
sucks- does not satisfy, or dissatisfies, the masses.
the nazz- 1. jesus. 2. something alice tends to refer to herself as.
tyron- alice's rarely-missed beginner oboe that she used for like a month.
you are all up in my grill- you're in my face. get out.

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